CareersNG

DEDICATED TO ALL AUDITORS!

I have a professional woman as my wife; a Chartered Accountant. She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food. She thinks I am no good with numbers. Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house. Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end, but when I told her I am not her client but her husband, she asks for the money in advance. The expenses had been rising steadily over the months, so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current file. No wonder! She was charging mileage and overtime to the house budget.

She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me. No honey, I am the auditor. I fail to see the light. Every scrap of the paper in our house is filed. She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep every copy of everything for at least ten years before destroying it. I am worried. The other day we had an hour- long fight. Later, I got to know that she had charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time was put down as unoccupied.

She says that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. However, she never believes me. She says that there is susceptibility of it being a misstatement. Duh! She wants my representation on this! Last year our house accounts got a qualified opinion I had not kept the supporting etc of my purchases. Not a long time back my brother’s wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding cards had been sent. After some time I started receiving a steady trickle of letters. I was puzzled until my wife explained that external evidence was more reliable. She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards were sent.

When she cooks: my wife at times does not go recipe. Where the recipe says add half teaspoon vinegar, one teaspoon black salt or one teacup of water, she ignores them. She says that they are not material when taken in context of whole meal being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly, everybody calls her an auditor, instead, I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a synonym for crazy. The dictionary must be outdated.

When we got married, she had given me an Engagement Letter and I had said how cute-how sweet. Now she gives it to me every year saying that her standards state that it must be sent anew if there is any justification that I have misunderstood the objective and scope of engagement. Huh! Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again she says I can’t get rid of her just like that. She says that she has the right of being heard before I appoint someone else. Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern status. Duh! Dare I say so??

I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA. Apparently he capitalized the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and is writing it off every year. Also the time he spent dating his wife marrying her is still under consideration for valuation…valuation of intangible assets.

So guyz please think twice…should u really marry a Chartered Accountant? And yes please discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of the risk of doing so!!!!!!!

that was really funny
nice one mol.
I hope u arent an accountant though!!>. so u wont charge us for making us laugh at careersng!!

_________________
Building a Solution Colony. Gb!

habahhh...i tire o...wen computer marry computer too, wetin go happen?

_________________
In Life's Pursuits, Never Outrun God [Prov. 19:21]
1luv...

their first kid will be a supercomputer..
they will speak machine language at home...
they will buy gadgets powered by nanotechnology.. etc

_________________
Building a Solution Colony. Gb!

_________________
In Life's Pursuits, Never Outrun God [Prov. 19:21]
1luv...

Jiggo, we get consultants wey fit help you if you do your confirmation.

Abeg if na computer + computer you dey, continua, the world needs super computers o jare.

_________________
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us:
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage
Don't give God instructions... just report for duty!

_________________
No matter how 'elephant' big reach, e no fit cause earthquake!

_________________
In Life's Pursuits, Never Outrun God [Prov. 19:21]
1luv...